I was wondering today just how old my oldest pair of socks are, and wandered over to Ravelry to relive some of my knitting history. Then I wondered when I last knit myself socks, considering my current resolution not to knit myself any. Oh, check that out. My last pair of socks for myself was finished a year ago. So I’ve been on-track with that resolution all year!

Then I thought to myself, if that’s the last pair of socks I knit myself, how much have I knit this year?

Turns out, not much.

The next logical thought was, “Wait… haven’t I been buying yarn this year too? Have I been secretly not knitting enough but still acquiring too much stash??” Which prompted this post: a look into my yarn acquisitions of 2011, yarn either given, bought, or swapped.

Let’s start with Dream in Color Smooshy, one of the two yarns I received for my birthday. (The other yarn I received turned into Multnomah.)

Pretty, isn’t it? It would make a lovely shawl. I just haven’t gotten there yet.

There is also this red yarn that I found at my school yarn group’s end of year swap in April or May:

Yes, it is destined for a gaudy sweater.

Sometime between those two I acquired this Berroco Blackstone Tweed with which to make the Climbing Vines Pullover.

And, as I pulled it out of the bag to photograph, look what else tumbled out:

This is probably enough for a Cable-Down Raglan for me too, considering how tiny I am.

Over the summer while I was not knitting much I fell down the rabbit hole when I saw a yarn booth at a neighborhood festival. I really hate when that happens.

At least it supports a Central American women’s collective? I guess?

And from a Green Gifts Festival a couple of weekends ago, I present:

Yarn made from corn. I can’t wait to turn it into a pretty shawl, because remember: no socks allowed.

So with all this acquired and very little knit up, am I allowed to buy Wicked Royal and make myself a Breakwater? I better get on that other resolution I had to knit every day.

Of course, this isn’t going to stop me from playing with makeup. I started doing it because it’s fun, and that’s why I’ll continue! Not on a daily basis, but I like to be the kind of person who does things in moderation. Extremes make me cranky, but indulging in beauty products every once in a while makes me happy. Doing things that make me happy is not a bad thing.

Yes, I’ve been terribly neglectful of Sunbeam Soapbox. I don’t know what to say, other than that I’m changing and that I’ve never been sure how to deal with this change. Knitting and photographing things are not at the top of my priority list anymore. (Photographing never really was – I just wanted to be one of the cool kids. Funny, because in other avenues I’ve never worried too much about being one of the cool kids, so why now? I was afraid I wouldn’t be accepted if I didn’t take pretty pictures of my life.) But there is a need in me that I haven’t been fulfilling lately, and that’s my need to write.

I joked just before going to Guatemala two weeks ago that I’d be writing poetry in fledgling Spanish in a cute café. The poetry didn’t exactly happen, though, since we were taking in so much and using all of our brainpower to process that much Spanish and new experiences. But I’m almost ready to try it. Almost. Just need to change a little bit again. I think the more important thing to me right now is to start writing here again. Little stories and anecdotes so that I’m exercising the writing muscle of my brain in a little more important to me ways.

One thing I haven’t been talking about because it seems too good to be true is that I have an internship now! Unfortunately it’s unpaid so I’m still looking for a part-time job, but I’m doing something I love for an organization that I have developed a deep respect and admiration for. I’ve heard good things back from them too, that they are very happy with the work I’m doing. All I need is a paid job and I’d be set!

It’s one thing to tell myself that though, and quite another to drive off the demons who keep telling me that I’m unfit for society. So I worked hard all through school. So what? Now I am a sloppy laze-about who finds much too much comfort in reading and escape. My cat likes me a lot for staying home all the time, though. At least there’s that.

And that brought me back to the power of story.

The Missive Maven shared the “History has set the record a little too straight” postcard for National Coming Out Day on 11 October. It’s a postcard that details people in history that history remembers, but rarely tells the stories of their sexuality. The “records” of these people left out a very important part of them. The words “record”, “history”, and “narrative” have all been swirling in my head lately. Joseph Campbell wrote reams and books on the subject of archetypes and myth. Reading The Hero With A Thousand Faces awoke in me the realization that story-telling truly is a powerful tool, despite its lessening importance in today’s society.

We tell stories about ourselves all the time. Not only do we describe ourselves with adjectives, but the things we talk about contribute to our stories. Do we blog to talk about crafts only? Then crafts are a large part of our story. Do we blog to talk about our opinions? Then having our opinions heard is a large part of our story. Do we talk about the weather? Our families? Cosiness and comfort? How we tell our stories says a lot about who we are.

You can’t say to someone, “Stephanie is a 22-year-old California transplant into the Midwest who likes to read and knit,” and expect that person to know everything about me. That person has to hear more of my stories: why do I live in the Midwest? Why do I knit? What’s so special about reading? Why do I want to learn so many languages? Why am I so against changing my name? These are all stories that I share with the important people in my life, so that they know where I’m coming from and where I am in the path of my life story. Your stories tell me where I fit into your life. Sometimes we have to re-frame our narratives to fit our experiences, but we will never stop thinking in stories.

What kind of stories do you tell people to get to know you better?

As it gets cooler, though, I will have longer nights and more time to sit in peace. Perhaps I’ll knit more. (If you thought this was a knitting blog… well, even if you thought this was a blog at all… you might’ve been mistaken.) At the moment I’m eyeing light sweater patterns and wishing life weren’t going too fast.

I had truly believed that life would slow down once I was officially unemployed. Now I know better: I am not sure if I thrive on having a bunch of activities, but I certainly feel better about myself if I have a lot of plans to be out and about. But, as an introvert, it’s tiring and leads to more passive activities when I’m home, such as reading and watching TV.

Pepper and I have been meaning to show you this.

Well, maybe that doesn’t give you a good idea of what it is.

That’s better. Unfortunately, shawls are in the class of things I Cannot Wear between June and early September. As are most knitted things. It’s just too much for me. I’m too hot all summer.

But come cooler weather (mid-September maybe? before I know it it will be freezing again, I’m sure), this will be just the thing.

A closer look at the feather and fan.

fly away (Ravelry):
Pattern: Multnomah by Kate Elsa
Yarn: Araucania Ranco Multy. I’m hoping wearing it isn’t quite as scratchy as knitting with it was.
Needles: US 4

In the meantime, some more discussion on Google+:

• Dark Google. We should have know.
• Keep up with Skud’s ongoing battle with Google. Apparently Skud worked at Google until a few weeks ago, and therefore has a working knowledge of the system. Good to keep up with.
• Why it’s important to turn the tide on Google’s real name policy. This is one of MANY posts on this subject. It’s also frightening that it notes that ISPs might start spying on users and social networking execs are calling for an end to anonymity on the web. Another good point in this post is that pseudonyms allow people to be more honest and real on the Internet. Yes. Been there, done that.
• Finally, Why Real Name Policies Just Don’t Work. Why does no one get this? Why must this be explained to people? And why doesn’t GOOGLE of all people understand how people are able to be more open with each other under pseudonyms?

That said, despite having cool people on my circle already, I’m already considering disabling it. I emphatically don’t agree with pulling all of the information about a person that has ever existed together in one easy to find location. Let the past be. Let people experiment with who they are on the Internet. Let us connect without fear of being labelled and shunned because of that label. This is what I hate about web 2.0: We’ll make having a voice easy, but you have to comply to our standards.

Sad thing.