On Wednesday I was at the library, as I like to be, this time picking up the books Sinus Survival and Prescription for Nutritional Healing, which I found from Now Norma Knits. I had to wait for my mom to pick me up and suddenly I thought I needed to leave to find her, and as I flew by the aisles this title jumped out at me.
Of course I had to stop for it.
I think and act as if I’m a completely normal, healthy 20-year-old who can do anything, because, even though I’ve had asthma for as long as I can remember, few people take me seriously when I tell them that I have a disease and therefore can’t perform at the same level as actual normal, healthy people my age. So instead of fighting misguided P.E. teachers I ignored my body and my health and let my mother and my doctor worry about it, just following their directions and getting frustrated whenever things didn’t work right.
Now, however, this approach isn’t working for me. I keep getting sicker and sicker: each semester since I started college I’ve gotten really sick, and being stuck in a dorm room many miles from home and trying to breathe is not my idea of fun. This past April I alluded to being sick, but I didn’t really tell you much it: I could hardly breathe at all, I was taking a lot of medications and a doctor decided I had bronchitis combined with the asthma. Luckily I started to feel better after I got medications for that, but I don’t think I ever really recovered.
Which brings me to now. Last week I was supposed to be on vacation: rafting, hiking, enjoying the fresh air and exercise. Instead I was stuck inside, or shopping, or doing “less taxing” things that weren’t really fun, because my asthma was again flaring up, and I had no idea why (usually it’s because of a cold, which I didn’t really have). That’s when I requested the two books I mentioned earlier from the library. I decided that I am finally done of being the victim and I am now going to take care of myself. Especially with the rise of things like novel H1N1 flu: I get flu shots every year, and I’ll be the first in line for this one, but I need to get on the offensive so that I do not get sick.
After talking to my doctor on Monday that determination became even more clear, and I had all these words swirling around in my head: chronic disease, getting well, managing my health. On Wednesday I saw this title, and it simply clicked to me: I need to practice the art of getting well. It will help me to respect myself if I treat it as art, and I can always use the reminder to respect myself.
The thing is, though this book is marked as having been received in July 2003 by my library, when I got up to the counter to check it out, it wasn’t in the system. The woman at the counter let me go with the book as long as I made a note of when it is due and take it back on time. To me, it feels like it was placed there by a deity. As if a divine signal is trying to say to me: Yes. Take care of yourself. You’re worth it. We’ll make sure the resources are there for you.
So I guess I do have a bit of faith in the universe providing what you need, especially if it’s affirming the decisions you make, like taking care of your health. I’m not sure what I think of the book itself yet, though I would like a copy of it for myself, just to remind me of the title whenever I look at it: it’s an art of getting well, and it requires dedication and practice. And like other arts, it will certainly be rewarding.
Well that’s a good attitude to take! Especially when it comes to being sick, it’s so much better to get to the root of it rather than just trying to cover up the symptoms by taking lots of medication for it. That whole idea is why I used to want to do public health. Preventive medicine (which is basically taking care of yourself BEFORE you even get sick… which I suppose is related to the “art of getting well”) is a very promising field. I hope this whole thing works out for you :)
Learn and keep up with the latest info regarding your illnesses can prove to be very good knowledge indeed (like did you know indoor pools can actually spark an attack? It’s the chlorine and the fact that indoors isn’t as ventilated). Then you can act accordingly. Oh and aren’t you in Cali? Smoke, even if you can’t see it, is still in the air and I heard that they are still having fire problems. See, knowledge is power! But still read the book too because it may have ideas worth working on. The fact that the title inspires you to think in a different more positive way is proof of that!
Wow, you’re really going to be in control of things, aren’t you? (: Kudos to you. I have gotta’ start switching my attitude to the more positive side of things as well because … I am (quite obviously) not dealing with it well at all.
Asthma is really common in Singapore (and gets worse every now and then because of pollution from our neighbouring country’s slash-and-burn forest clearing) to an extent that most people turn a blind eye to it since it is not ‘something out of the ordinary’.
I only developed asthma when I was about to turn 19, so I didn’t really have trouble with PE lessons. However, I did witness my asthmatic friends who were in a spot because PE teachers didn’t accept asthma as an excuse. Generally, it IS okay to exercise when the asthma is under control. However, when it starts to flare up, exercise is a no-no. (And a friend was still forced to run 2.4km despite informing the PE teacher that her asthma was acting up. Sigh.)
Thankfully, we don’t have to cope with all that now.
Anyway, I hope everything is progressing well on your side! And yes … please avoid H1N1 as far as you can. It really does bring on pretty bad complications when combined with asthma. :(
Sounds like you have a good attitude about looking at this another way – and I hope that you find a way to manage it so you don’t have to have another vacation like that.
See if you can find “The right food at the right time” by Sam Graci – very, very empowering!
Sometimes things just work out the way they should. Taking control is often the hardest, but also most rewarding, part of being a grown up … or pretending to be one. I hope you’re making progress vs. the asthma.
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