Yesterday I received my quarterly issue of Equality magazine from the Human Rights Campaign. I’ve been donating monthly to the HRC ever since a guy on the street called out to me as I was heading to an appointment, “Can I talk to you for a gay minute?” That caught my attention, amused me, and made me talk to him. Later that day, my roommate told me that the HRC is a really big, effective organization trying to promote equality, so I was proud that my instincts led me to something that would help. Gay rights haven’t been the cause I’ve been fighting for myself (I’ve been working on environmental issues), so I’m glad at least some of my money is going to this just cause.
My favorite parts of the magazine are the ads that are deliberately designed for this magazine, but seen nowhere else. They’re all very “wholesome”, a couple with their kids, a couple checking out a new cell phone, a couple on the beach— all, however, same-sex couples. These could be ordinary ads, but I have the feeling they were all designed specifically for this magazine to show off the advertisers’ friendliness to GLBT persons (despite the fact that their actions may not always follow their words). I’m both happy to see these ads and heartbroken that I never see the same anywhere else. Mainstream media is absolutely saturated with heterosexuality.
I thought then about my own friends and who they are. One friend of mine has expressed frustration at not being interested in girls, because guys our age are fairly rude and obnoxious. Most of my friends I assume are heterosexual, except for the ones who are out as flamboyantly gay (I don’t think I know of many lesbians in my offline circle). On the Internet, where people are freer to come out as who they are because the repercussions are not as great (especially when using a pseudonym), I’ve heard a greater discussion of different preferences and lifestyles. Which is great. It’s just frustrating that we have to hide who we are, except when we don’t have the repercussions.
A good friend of mine posted an essay privately yesterday on how she is lucky that, despite being bisexual, she fell in love with and married a man. If she had fallen in love with a woman? Life would be so much harder for her. My favorite argument to people who like to think being gay is a lifestyle choice is: who in their right minds would choose to be so different from the rest of the world, in a world where not conforming leads to threats and violence against you, ostracizing from your family? Yeah. Definitely a choice. (Please excuse my sarcasm.)
So while I’m figuring myself out, I’m going to read the Equality magazine again and wish the world were more accepting of diversity of people and the different ways to love and that I weren’t only seeing these ads making same-sex couples look normal in this highly specialized magazine.
